Friday, November 4, 2011

Seems Like

It's been a long harvest. It doesn't look like it's going to end anytime soon, either. We lost 4-5 days before we even started due to software problems with the combine, we've lost 2 days to rain, and lost this afternoon to another breakdown. This on top of probably a day or two down due to other nagging little problems. Add to that some other things that have been going on for me personally, and I find myself wishing more and more that harvest was over.

When I started this blog, I couldn't wait until harvest. I wanted you all to share with me the joy of reaping what God has blessed us with, but for the first time in my life, I'm not having much fun this fall. It's not exactly because of the machinery problems - that happens. It's not the weather, either.

It's the constant grind of being the go-between for two men that, for some reason, can't communicate with each other without going through me. The hope that your grandfather might slow down next year and give you maybe 80 acres to farm, only to find out that won't happen this year, but maybe next year... again. The fact that I've been running a combine or an auger wagon for a long time, but I still get told how to do one or the other nearly every day. The proof that twin-row was a good investment, and even though someone you're close to knows it has worked well, won't tell you that you were right, all because when you bought the planter, he told you "that will never work. All it's going to do is greensnap and fall over at harvest."

I'd like to be told when I'm doing something well, instead of how wrong I am all the time. I'd like to get in the tractor or combine for one day and not have anyone tell me how to do something I already know how to do. I'd like to be told I was right, just once. Mostly, I'd like to pick the last load of corn, clean up the equipment and put it away, so I can decompress for a few days.

The joy that comes with harvest being taken away... That's what upsets me.


  1. I think one the toughest times of my dad's life was letting my brother be a grown man. Going from teacher to friend/helper was a tough step for him. I think he was scared he would become irrelevant. People can behave badly when they are scared.

    I hope everything works out for you. It is a gift to love your work. I hope you find a way to keep that joy and protect it from the difficult types.

  2. Thanks for the comment. I'm sure it's the same thing you're describing, and I can understand it, but it's still pretty tough to get through. Just gotta keep on keeping on.